You passed away today Dad and finally were allowed to leave the shell of an existence that was forced upon you. I wish I could’ve bullshited about football with you one last time but I’m glad you were allowed to pass on. You’ve set up your family to continue to pursue lives full of happiness but know that I’ll be thinking about you every single day for the rest of my life. I’ll do my best to keep happy thoughts of you in my head, take care of Mom, and make sure Matt doesn’t do anything stupid. I cannot emphasize enough what you meant to me: you were the best father I could’ve asked for. I sincerely hope the atheists are wrong on this one and you’re allowed to be in a place like heaven where I’m sure you’ll continue to watch over your family, sports, and probably find some work to do. Rest in peace.
Johnny Cash-“Danny Boy”, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_d6d-E_DwQ
Johnny Cash-“We’ll Meet Again”, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KodNFsP6r88
So it’s coming down to the end for Dad. If I’m being honest, beyond the sorrow of what’s going on, I’m terrified for the future. I don’t know what will happen to my family, my friends, or me for that matter. I’m trying to brace myself and I hope I’ll be able to have even half the strength my Dad has exhibited through all this bullshit. I love you Dad, I’m going to do everything in my power to make you proud from now until I meet you again after you pass.
Dying sounds really nice right about now.
Due to recent people and events in my life and reflection on religion’s role in the modern world, I think I’m going to try and go to church again and approach and interpret God on my own terms.
I’ve only went on one date with this girl but I can’t get her out of my head…it’s almost embarassing.
When you ignore a person’s past, your future actions have the possibility of hurting that person through that ignorance. When you ignore your past, you’re opening the door for that hurt to come back into your life and are stunting your ability for self reflection.
I need a “Crush” me girl.
Today I was in a chapel contemplating the impending death of a loved one. I’m not Christian (I’m Deist if you’re curious) but it was such a quiet, peaceful place despite the small service happening at the front of the chapel. I kneeled in a pew, cursed, wondered why, and had a few tears.
I followed a set of stone carvings depicting Christ’s crucifixtion until I ran into a Medieval statute of infant Jesus. Apparently Christ spoke to a monk named Cyril and in part said “…pay honor to me and I shall bless you…” Now I know many of you are starting to think “Fucking Christianity and organized religion…nothing but a crock of shit sold to the masses to gain power.” And you would be right…in part. During my conversation with infant Christ, I asked questioned his existance (and most religions in general), remarked that Cyril probably got nothing for his loyal obedience to Christianity, but it was not all venom. I didn’t just have an epiphany that people are what ruin religion, not religion itself.
The Popes, rabis, Imams, etc. contain shitty people just like every other portion of earthly society. Funny thing, I ended up apologizing to Christ and all other religions for humans mistreatment and misrepresentation of what should be a beautiful thing. Religion has been invoked to start war, hoard wealth, committ genocide, and other sorts of sins but it was people who used their position of power within religious institutions to do this. If religion didn’t exist, oppression and extortion would find a different avenue: it always does.
Religion to me is a contract of good faith and a platform that people can use to promote harmony. Many people within the clergy are good people and have used the religious structure to center themselves, give direction to their life, and escape the dismal state most humans suffer in. This platform has allowed for charitable good works that most of religion’s naysayers wouldn’t have the fucking guts to do. Most people miss the point: religion is a state of mind one can use for reflection, peace, and betterment of oneself. The chapel brought me peace today, something that all the modern medicine, science, and technology in the world cannot seem to do.